Fibromyalgia

I don't think I've mentioned this here before, so I thought I would let you all know...

some of you know that I was finally officially diagnosed with fibromyalgia about 5 or 6 months ago - I've known for about 2 years. I always thought that everyone felt like their nerves were "on end". Whenever I mentioned it to my dad, (who always understands the feeling of being in constant pain) he sounded like he understood. A while ago he mentioned that he had never had that type of feeling. So, it made me wonder.

Now, I have found a couple new explanations to explain how the nerves being on end feels.  You know how you feel right before you get the flu, how your body just aches?  That's it. Or the feeling of a ponytail headache.  That's it.  Thanks other fibro-friends for giving me those definitions - they are much more understandable than my previous explanation.

I also always wondered why I was so tired, I thought that it was due to the depression, which runs in my family. Again, I ignored symptoms. I knew I wasn't lazy, but just figured I didn't have the gusto to do all those fun things that so many of my friends do. 

I seriously just thought that I was crazy and that the symptoms were in my head and that I somewhere, subconsciously, was just really lazy. Does that make sense?

Well, I was talking to a daughter of a neighbor/friend. I went to a class with her at a women's conference that talked about dealing with depression. So, we started talking about meds and things of that nature. I was mentioning all these weird symptoms and she looked at me and told me that I needed to have my dr check trigger points for fibromyalgia. I went home and did some research of my own - thank you internet and WebMD. I also found a fibromyalgia site. As I started talking to people, I realized that I wasn't alone. There are people out there in this constant pain and it felt good to know that I wasn't alone.

Why am I sharing this now? Well, part to inform people about fibromyalgia, because some don't believe in it. They think it's in our heads. I won't go on about that, but suffice to say that IT IS NOT IN OUR HEADS!!! IT'S NOT JUST IN MY HEAD. 

Another reason is because I wanted to say how grateful I am for friends who are so understanding, even though they may not know what's going on. I'm grateful for friends who don't become bitter because I missed their baby shower (I really, really wanted to go - I'm so sorry Kerst). I'm grateful for friends who understand when I can't commit to anything, because honestly, I don't know how I'm going to feel tomorrow or the next day. I feel bad if I commit to something and then have to say I can't go and end up sleeping all day (which I totally hate - I have so many things I'd rather be doing.)  I'm grateful for family who is understanding and supportive. Who stand by me when they don't understand what's going on. They just know that I don't feel good.  They take Jenna for me when Jason is at school and I'm not feeling well. I am so blessed.

I am also thankful for a doctor and his staff who believe in me when I say that I'm in need of pain medication. They understand the pain and know that I'm not an addict. They understand that just like a diabetic needs their insulin to function normally and survive, there are days that the daily medicines are not enough.  I'm thankful for the new technology that brings daily meds that I have the hope will help me and make me the me I know I am inside. 

Here's a link that kind of gives you more information about Fibromyalgia.

And last but not least, thank you Jason for understanding and letting me sleep. It means the world to me.